Thursday, September 1, 2011

Gone So Long...

I know it has been forever since I will likely be some time until I do again.  I have so many things to share, I have done the occasional crafting here and there in the last 8 months since I have been a single mom...but NOT MUCH!  I still have birthday photos from Lawson's first birthday that I never shared, and now I have his second birthday and Nalley's fourth...and the Christmas quilt I finished last year and the list goes on...but I don't have the time to sit and go through the photos, much less edit them or blog about guess I can leave it till "one day".

Life is VERY HARD as a single, now working, yes I went back to work...Mom of two very little ones.  My day starts at 5 a.m. to get up and tiptoe around while I make myself a cup or three of coffee and get dressed, make up on, breakfast (maybe) and lunches packed, before I wake up the little ones who are inevitably cranky and un-cooperative.  Then we're off to drop them at daycare and endure a few tears before I rush off to work...  Then while at work, I have a great, and very rewarding job that I really enjoy, but it too is busy and full-paced.  Then off to pick up the kids and hopefully (but not too often) feed them a healthy meal before doing baths, play time, cuddles, snacks, stories, and then bed.  By then, I too am ready to climb into bed, but alas, I have to do the dishes, laundry, vacuum (maybe), get clothes ready for the next day...and start all over again...

My sweethearts make it all worth while, and my amazing in-laws and friends have made it a lot easier...but at the end of the day, I'm flying solo...and it sucks!  It is hard.  There, I said it!  I am notorious for saying, "I'm okay, doing good!" when asked by my friends...I just hate to complain, and I HATE to ask for help.  Thankfully, most people know that about me and don't wait for me to help, they just pitch in and DO IT!

The reason I'm telling you all this is not to make you feel sorry for me, or get any sympathy...I don't want it...but I want to be REAL and not pretend like everything is good or fine in the life of a single, working mom...cause it's not.  It is tough, day-in and day-out.  It does get easier as you find a routine, but  when your kids are sad or sick or hurting it is a hard row to hoe!!!

These are the reasons I get up every day and put on my make up and a smile...they are the reason I still believe in the power of love.  I am learning that our suffering will consume us, and in the same way LOVE and forgiveness will consume us if we let it.  It is not easy.  It is not fun.  Many days I wish I could wake up to my old life...I wish I could give my kids a home that wasn't broken...I wish I could give them things I cannot.  But I am quickly reminded of all that we DO have...and I am thankful for it.

We have a home, with clean water, a car to drive, plenty of food and clothes, and toys...and I have a good job.  We have our health, and the LOVE of family and friends...and God!  We are truly just takes a little perspective...doesn't it?